England beaten by Brazil in semi
Posted by DavidM in Brazil, England, World Cup | 30 March 2006
I have looked into the future and seen the headlines from The Sun during this summer’s World Cup:
3 June (one week before the World Cup)
England conquer Germany - again
Our glorious boys, led by the magnificent Sven, landed in Germany today ready to conquer the world. The cream of English talent – something Wenger wouldn’t know about – arrived at their luxury hotel to prepare to win the World Cup.
Sven has ignored calls from those less knowledgeable to include Bent, Nolan and Milner in his squad. When done Sven, we’re behind you all the way.
7 June (2 days before the World Cup)
Shame of England
Top England players brought shame to our great nation last night, playing strip poker with hotel chambermaids until 2am and throwing furniture from 5th floor windows. “I was scared, it was a real disgrace”, said an eyewitness that we paid. Come on Sven, if you can’t control your team what chance have we got. Those responsible should be sent home and whipped.
10 June
England misfits misfire against Paraguay
What a hopeless performance. 1-1 against the minnows of the group. England’s overpaid ‘stars’ clearly need to spend more time training and less time disgracing themselves. Why oh why did Sven pick the same old faces when Nolan, Bent and Milner have been on great form – they would have shown true English spirit out there. Thank God he’s going after the World Cup.
15 June
Sven will it end?
A fluke winning goal by Lampard can’t hide another hopeless performance from the over-the-hill Beckham and over-rated Rooney against Trinidad. Get Sven out and put Venables in before the next game, or the only cup England will bring home will have their tea in it. Cut out today’s free Sven dart-board cover and get him between the eyes.
20 June
Glory Glory England
Well done our boys, we always knew you could do it. Our heroes, guided by the master-tactician Sven, stuffed it to Sweden yesterday to qualify for the last 16. Brilliant play by the ever-reliable Beckham, and a super goal by wonder-boy Rooney sealed victory. There’s no stopping us now – we’re going all the way.
Phone 0901 666 666 to support our ‘Sven for a knighthood’ campaign.
25 June
England March on
A triumphant win over Poland by England’s finest led to celebrations across the country. England has World Cup fever as the nation senses victory in Germany. “I haven’t felt this hopeful since 2002” said one partygoer, “I really believe we could go all the way”. England only have to win the next three games to win the World Cup, nothing can stop us now.
1 July
Herr Bastard
A valiant effort by our boys was all for nothing as a string of bad decisions by Austrian referee Otto Frinkle gifted Brazil victory and dumped England out of the World Cup. Frinkle let Brazil’s first goal stand despite Ronaldinho clearly being offside, and the free kick decisions that led to their second and fourth goals were hopelessly wrong. Then Frinkle boiled the blood of every true-spirited Englishman by sending off Rooney for what he claimed was a 2-footed challenge, ending any hope of England pulling off a great comeback.
Comments
Hopefully this will NOT be how England depart from the cup. I think Rooney has grown up a little and will avoid tackles or confrontations that could see him off the pitch !
you just know that it's going to happen as above.
but do you not play Germany before Brazil?
England would finish with 7 points in the group stages - from 2 wins and a draw. As we beat Sweden, they can only achieve a maximum 6 points so England finish top of group B.
I assume Germany will finish top of Group A and Poland will be runners-up so we play Poland rather than Germany.
Lucky for them or I might have predicted another 5-1 drubbing.
