The Truth Is Out There
Posted by Zeno in Chelsea | 14 February 2006
Could there be a conspiracy afoot at Stamford Bridge? Could that master tactician Jose Mourinho be preparing a surprise for his Barcelona counterpart Frank Rijkaard? A sort of trompe l’oeuil Chelsea performance at the Riverside on Saturday already has the commentators suggesting that, with such a monumental lead in the Premiership, Jose’s thrown a game as well as overplaying the injury to defensive lynchpin William Gallas in a bid to lull the Catalan boys into a false sense of security.
And yes… yes, it all seems so clear. John Terry’s pedestrian movement, perhaps, or Carvalho’s weakness in the air, not to mention the uncharacteristic lack of authority from Petr Cech. This wasn’t Chelsea, surely, but some ill-drawn cartoon of a team which bore a passing resemblance to the reigning Champions but contained none of the spirit or determination which, when flair abandons them, drives them on to victory after victory. Anyone seen Invasion of the Body Snatchers? Scary thought… Terry and Co emerging, perfectly formed, from gooey pods with Donald Sutherland looking all thoughtful and assertive in the background.
Except, of course, that this is all garbage of the highest order. With the absence of Claude Makelele, whose imminent replacement becomes a matter of greater urgency, this was a full-strength Chelsea side. Who looked jaded, complacent, uninterested, and got stuffed.
OK, I admit it – and some of you may be surprised by this – but I don’t quite have the footballing tactical acumen of our Portuguese maestro. Yes, yes, it seems needlessly modest to admit it, but there you are. And yes, if this does turn out to be a plan so cunning that you could stick a tail on it and call it a weasel, I’ll eat my words, plus a copy of Hansen’s column in the Telegraph for good measure. It could be that come next week, John Terry will emerge with the lightness of step that eluded him on Saturday, and perform a series of defensive pirouettes to leave Ronaldinho and Co stunned. Frank Lampard could, perhaps, turn in a virtuoso midfield general masterclass that leaves Xavi and Deco trailing in his wake.
So, moving on a little: last year it was the referee, this year the pitch. One way or the other, Barcelona are determined to get the excuses in early for the Champions’ League tie. We who followed this war of whining last season will remember the comments, particularly Eto’o and his utterly convincing “Chelsea didn’t beat us, we let them win” remark. Now it’s Silvinho, with his outstanding “I hear they’re making their pitch even worse”. Heard from who, just out of interest? Is David Duchovny standing over it with a magnifying glass while that red-haired frump tuts woodenly down a mobile phone at someone? Welcome to the latest round of the X-Files, Chelsea – Barca edition.
