The Natural Order of the Premiership
Posted by Ratbert in Bolton | 1 March 2006
Apparently, football should be predictable. It should have certain teams winning certain trophies, buying certain players for certain amounts of money; each league should contain certain teams, finishing, every year, in a certain order. This decree comes from the Football Association, and, more importantly, the English media, who decide exactly how things should be in this great country of ours.
And woe betide anyone who even whispers that anything should be different.
Enter, stage left, Bolton Wanderers.
We are not wanted; at least not in the Premiership. Our place is in the upper reaches of Division One, sorry (cough) the ‘Championship’, below the likes of Watford, QPR, and Ipswich (spot the geographical link) and certainly not keeping big city, ‘historically massive’ teams like Wolves, Nottingham Forest and especially West Ham United out of their rightful place, in the Premiership. Let’s face it; Bolton has never won anything. We have no support or tradition. Hey, no one wants to willingly play for us; and there’s no money in the bank. And the style of football – ugh.
Our team of ‘foreign mercenaries’ and ‘ageing superstars’ should roll over against superior opposition every week, indeed it should volunteer to return to the lower leagues, and should it mistakenly find itself in a position where it could get promoted, surrender its place to a team such as Leeds.
Thank goodness life isn’t like that, but the overall impression you get from the media and the failed managers called ‘pundits’ is that Bolton Wanderers are some kind of horrible poison dwarf farting and belching all over their rosy world of ‘big’ clubs. At first we were a minor irritant – one chairman is believed to have said in earshot of Phil Gartside at the pre-season Premiership meeting of 2001-02 “enjoy it lads, you won’t be here long”. The lest said about the dreadful Rodney Marsh the better. Mark Lawrenson, Preston fan and renowned expert on football, sulked massively in the Mirror after we beat his beloved Lillywhites at Cardiff, to the extent that the losing manager was in fact the actual winner that day (Lawro, to his credit, got over it and has almost grown to like us now!). Then we stayed up, and after ignoring us most of the following season, they got into major hysterics when it became apparent their beloved ‘ammers could be relegated and we’d stay up instead. Another two-fingered salute to the opinion formers followed.
Once it was cup games. Playing our reserves is a disgrace to football, just like it is when Arsenal and Manchester United do it…. hang on there…
And then there’s our transfer policy. Free transfers? Loan deals? How can that possibly work? The most clichéd statement in many a match report: “How Bolton managed to sign Jay Jay Okocha / Youri Djorkaeff / Ivan Campo remains a mystery”.
Then Sam complains about referees. He is a bad loser. At least he’s got Ferguson and Wenger to keep him company. But would they have been singled out for abuse the way he was after the Carling Cup final?
Now they have got a new stick to beat us with. It’s our ‘physical’ and ‘in your face’ style of football. Diouf is the new Robbie Savage. In fact he’s worse. Players who are too physical with no skill. Get them out of our league!
Bolton are often compared (unflatteringly) with Wimbledon. Well Wimbledon were in the top flight for 14 years. They won an FA Cup. Not bad for a load of crap eh? And they never had World Cup winners, European champions, Champion’s League winners and the most skilful African to ever caress a football in their team.
Bolton have teamwork, determination and will to win born of one thing; establishment hatred. Upsetting the natural order of the Premiership is what drives them on. And long may they continue to do so.
Comments
All convincing arguments (if a little exaggerated and partisan - but then that goes with the territory of a football blog!) - but I wonder whether you've considered whether Bolton are themselves close to becoming "establishment"? Several consecutive seasons in the top flight, comfortable top half finishes, European football - surely you're not too far away from it? (And all credit to Fat Sam and the players for that, of course.)
I wouldn't say Ben, even after five seasons in the Premiership that we're quite establishment yet, as many comments in the media still talk about Bolton 'punching above their weight.' I believe many teams - the likes of Spurs, Man City - look down their noses at us, seeing Bolton as upstarts blocking the right to trophies and European football the 'big boys' have always felt are theirs. I do feel as well that the acid test will be if Sam goes - is our success down to him (see O'Neill's Leicester), or can we continue to do well without him? Besides which, by being on the fringes of the establishment, I believe the team is better motivated...
Fantastic start to the blog, and excellently written - as usual. Long may you continue to do so. It would seem I'm due an education here. ;)
Thank you, Peter. :^)
