Dodgy commentary: could you do better?

Posted by Gringo Maclure in Arsenal, Man United | 10 November 2008

Ever wondered if you could be the next John Motson? Match commentating may not be as easy as it sounds, but you're bound to better these jokers...

I missed the Arsenal game on Saturday as I had to be at work. So when I clocked off I tried to pick up the highlights online and saw the goals over at eplmatches.com - first and second-half highlights pulled from ESPN. The action was great, the commentary was poor. I don't know who ESPN have on for their English-speaking half-time punditry team, but the main presenter A (who seemed fairly on the ball) and the co-commentator B (a guy called "Mace" who sounded like Alan Shearer - anyone know who it was?) managed to botch up the first half highlights spectacularly. These are the highlights (or should that be lowlights) of their first half summary. Worth a chuckle. Could you do better?

(When Almunia inexplicably picks up Silvestre's backpass early on)
B: A complete and utter brainwave.
A: Brainwave? Aberration, perhaps? Brainwave is generally a good thing.
B: Is it? Thanks for picking me up on that…

(Rooney misses a sitter)
A: Did it take a bobble? You can’t talk about bobbles, can you, in the Emirates…

(Nasri's first goal)
A: Wicked deflection. All deflections are wicked aren’t they?
B: Well, yeah, if they take them away from the keeper…
(Er, what about deflections that help the defending team? Are those wicked? What about deflections in the middle of the park miles away from goal that have no importance whatsoever?)

(Almunia saves from Park's shot)
A: Good save from Almunia. We were talking about Goalkeeper’s needing to push it away to safely.
B: Good strong hand on that. Well, it could have gone back into play…
A:…well, it did.

(Walcott misses a volley)
A: He did everything right. Kept his head down...
B: He didn’t do everything right because he didn’t get the right connection. He didn't get it on target, did he?

Comments

1. At November 10, 2008 2:33 AM Sooth wrote:

If it's ESPN Asia, then "Mace" is probably Paul Masefield. Not sure who the other guys are. It's been a while since I've watched them.

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